Rocky's interview: 11/28/14

Rawr! Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving! I am thankful I'm not a turkey! Anyways, the human has had major computer issues and we apologize for the lack of updates. With this in mind, I will allow the human to interview me today while the computer is running! Get to it before I change my mind! Q: Ok Rocky, let's begin. It appears that the Democrats took a beating in the midterm elections earlier this month. Any thoughts? A: Yes, human! I have many and they are not politically correct! I am not surprised they lost. Since both parties suck worse than dog food, and since too many Americans are still frightened little mousies, the voting went as I expected. One of these days, maybe we'll learn the lesson that neither political party cares about us. We should be ashamed of ourselves! Yes, I mean that! Q: So do you think Republicans will do anything useful while they're in control of Congress? A: Of course not! Neither Elephants nor Donkeys care about solving America's problems! They'll just argue and block each other for another two years. They only support each other when it means more government power. What Elephants should do is repeal Common Core, repeal the Patriot Act, and secure our borders! Of course they won't. They're too busy figuring out a way to expand the War on Drugs, especially the war on catnip! They're too busy bashing the poor and hating on protestors! They're too busy courting bigots, hypocrites, vultures, and/or crooks like Chris Christie, Mitt Romney, and Jeb Bush to represent their party! Q: Speaking of border security, what do you think about Obama's new immigration policy? A: I believe Obama's priorities are completely out of whack! While I support immigration, and support amnesty in special/extreme circumstances, I am disgusted with Obama's lack of interest in helping our veterans and our disabled find work. I support immigration AND border security. Obama, Bush, and their corporate cronies would prefer to import labor from outside than hire our own citizens! And no, saying that doesn't make me racist, Donkeys. I want to know who's in my house, and I want my citizens to have the opportunity to work! Why is that so hard to understand? Q: You say Republicans hate protestors. Do you believe their media is accurately reporting the events in Ferguson and other areas where protests are occurring? A: As I've said numerous times before, I blame the system -- not individual cops. The answer to your question is no. Neither side is being accurate. It is quite evident that Elephants are trained to blindly respect authority, regardless of whether or not that authority behaves ethically. They don't want to believe that some police abuse their power. The media is doing a great job dividing our citizens once again. Even humans who share my beliefs are being hypnotized to focus all the blame on poor, ethnic communities. If 1 out of 1000 protestors becomes a "looter", that doesn't mean all of them are. Blaming over-policed ethnic communities for all this is short-sighted and Un-American! Yeah I said that! Q: What specifically about the system do you blame for the civil unrest? A: The War on Drugs, silly human. This war affects more aspects of our lives than we want to acknowledge. Amongst other things, It has created an "us vs. them" mentality between citizens and police. The collateral damage of the War on Drugs is the destruction of families and whole communities! Leaving the drug issue to law enforceemnt forces humans "underground" and they are far less likely to seek help! Shame on you, Donkeys, for not making the reform of the War on Drugs a priority! And shame on you, Elephants! Still, two-thirds of you so-called "conservatives" want to drug test and arrest your way to "victory"! Q:And lastly, how would you stop Common Core, Rocky? A: Easy. I will grant AMNESTY to all teachers, students, and parents who refuse to take part in this destructive experiment. Also, those without teaching experience will be forbidden to hold any position in the Department of Education. That means you, Arne Duncan! You're lucky I wouldn't bury you alive in cat litter! Yes, amnesty. Students will not be held back a grade for refusing, or "opting out" as it is commonly known, standardized tests and surveys. They will not fail math for doing it the traditional way. Teachers will not lose their jobs over standardized test scores. Parents will rest easy knowing this Constitutional Cat is here to put a stop to all things Common Core! Kids do not thrive by being confused with haphazardly designed "New Math" problems! They do not gain confidence by spending 25% of their time in school taking tests to make multinational corporations richer! They need to learn! They need to master actual skills! Q: Well, Mr. Rocky, I have no further questions today. Thank you for your time! A: I haven't had cat treats in three days. Yes, I'm counting. Get your sorry ass to the store, human.


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