Rocky Vs. Rand Paul!

Rawr! How are you all doing this fine day? I am ready for my next opponent! Introducing, the only Elephant Presidential hopeful who is even worth mentioning, Raaaaand Paaaaul!

Before we begin, I'd like to say Meowrr! Rrrrowrr! Seriously?! Excuse me while I smack this Babelcat into submission.

Sorry, humans. As I was trying to tell you, I'd like to give you one thought before I begin evaluating Rand Paul. this choice was as obvious as last night's. Rand Paul has a pulse, unlike most Elephant politicians. How much of a pulse? Let's see!

In regards to economic policy, I will give him some credit. This guy has done his homework about certain damning old laws that everyone tries to forget. Like myself, Rand Paul would like to see more transparency in the Federal Reserve, which was pretty much allowed to escape oversight since 1913. Paul supports alternative fuel companies receiving tax breaks, as he and I both know that we're too dependent on "Big Oil".

He also recognizes our national debt problem, and takes issue with the subsidies given to the Export-Import Bank that go overseas.

There exists a bad side to his love of tax breaks. My real problem with Rand Paul's economic policy is that he succumbs to the "trickle down" economics philosiphy. He still lives in this fantasy world where the happy little billionaires will all happily give to the poor and create enough jobs for everyone! Allowing multi-national corporations to amass excess piles of wealth didn't make them nicer! They just kept wanting more. More money. More influence. That's just how humans operate. There's an "evil" gene. Greed is part of it. Until they get rid of this evil gene, good humans deserve the right to bear arms -- and corporations should be paying their darn taxes!

I appreciate that Rand Paul is not for the de-clawing of America. He supports the Second Amendment. Now, I just need to convince him to believe that de-clawing (mutilation) of cats should be illegal! It's only fair! Let's move on! Should I trust this guy? Hmm...

His views on catnip make my tail fluff out in defiance. Mr. Paul is advanced on the subject as far as Elephants go, but much less enlightened than his father, Ron. Son Randy hides his mild ignorance in the form of being a State's rights activist. So, he'll say that the states should regulate the medical catnip / recreational catnip laws, not the Feds. He says he doesn't want to jail catnip users. But, will he change Nixon's turd of a Controlled Substances Act? I am not ready to trust him. His support of medical catnip can't be completely denied, but he won't go far enough. C'mon Rand, I know you're a scaredy-cat about catnip, but you know prohibition doesn't work! A kinder, gentler War on Drugs is still a war. On a bright note, he's opposed to the militarization that is happening to our police.

Rand Paul realizes that we need border security (Hello, that's where the DEA and excess military equipment should go). I stand behind my belief that we can handle the refugee situation more humanely if we had proper border security. Don't you humans want to know, at all times, who is in your house?

On other civil/social issues, he fares mostly well. His staunch opposition to the Patriot Act and the NSA's excessive data collection is commendable. Mr. Paul certainly opposes the Federal takeover of education that we're seeing today with Common Core.

Where Rand and I differ is on abortion. Both of us think that abortion is wrong. However, It still falls under "Prohibition Doesn't Work" in my book -- not necessarily in his.

His views on marriage is actually something I could work with. Predictably, he follows his States' Rights schtick (say that three times fast). I agree with Rand that marriage should be written out of the tax code; it shouldn't affect anyone's status. I go a little farther than him, and say it's none of the government's ******* business.

Of course, you can view all of Rand Paul's stances and voting records at ontheissues.org. As with Bernie Sanders, I did my best to say positive stuff about them. See, I can be diplo-catic!

My final evaluation: Rand Paul has potential, and you Elephants really need to replace your crusty tyrants with more Constitutional Cats. How does Rand stack up to the Independent-in-Donkey-clothing Bernie Sanders? Answers may vary. They differ heavily on economics, guns, abortion, and border security. Would he be a good President? He's a better choice than any Donkey, but nowhere near as awesome as me!


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