Rocky's Politics 101: Lesson #3: Surfers, Beware of Sharks!

Rrraooow! Hi there, good humans! Are you ready for Lesson #3? Great! Now, we will learn why there are so many mousies and parrots in America today. In our last lesson, you learned that parrots imitate what they hear on mainsteam media (MSM) providers. Hence, the MSM needs sharks. Sharks are the news anchors, the talk show hosts, and the activists of "conservative" or "liberal" media. They are ravenously hungry for power and popularity. It is very important to be able to recognize a shark, so you can automatically regard anything they say as a pile of manure.

Sharks come in two varieties. The Red Shark appears on "conservative" MSM outlets. The Blue Shark appears on "liberal" MSM outlets. Each has the same objective; to hypnotize the mousies and parrots of their respective color. Examples of Red Sharks are Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, and Nancy Grace. Examples of Blue Sharks are Chris Matthews, Piers Morgan, and Al Sharpton.

Sharks often find a niche crowd that they appeal to the most, which is great for elephants and donkeys alike. For example, if Nancy Grace appeals to uptight "conservative" women who hate everything fun and whimsical, and Bill O'Reilly appeals to uptight "conservative" men who are afraid and gullible, all Rush Limbaugh has to do is appeal to the clinically insane "conservatives"!

To be fair, let's briefly talk about the "liberal" sharks I have mentioned. Chris Matthews is a big-government loving, Kennedy-smooching moral hypocrite. Piers Morgan is a boring gun-control nut with a bad attitude. Al Sharpton throws the race card more often than I beg for cat treats... which is a lot!

The MSM is a century-old tangled web of hate, lies, and distraction. One of the first sharks of the MSM was William Randolph Hearst. He was a racist journalist who also made money as a politician. Then, he used his influence to spread lies about non-whites as well as the hemp plant in his rag of a newspaper. Nowadays, not all that much has changed. If they aren't forcing political half-truths and fear-mongering down your throat, they are distracting you with useless stories about what the celebs are wearing this spring.

I hope I have helped persuade you to look at the MSM with more skepticism. I believe you know deep down that the MSM is full of crap. Go with that feeling.


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