Rocky's Politics 101: Lesson #2: The Angry Parrots

Prrrraoooow! I'm glad you are back for lesson #2! Now that we've gone over the three types of mousies, you are ready to be introduced to the parrot! Let's focus on the two most dangerous types: the red parrot and the blue parrot. The red parrot supports the elephants and the blue parrot supports the donkeys. Yes, you're right! This is the same color code that I used for the mousies. Parrots are dangerous! Let's find out why.

A parrot is an evolved form of the mousie. During the evolution process, a tiny part of the brain's Political Evaluation Center (PEC) becomes active. Unfortunately, this doesn't mean that the parrot becomes more politically savvy than the mousie.

Parrots gather the distorted half-truths and disgusting ideologies of their favorite political news networks and then bombard the masses with misinformation. Wow, that's a mouthful for a cat to say! I hope you understood that! Let's elaborate:

The red parrot watches FOX News and other "conservative" talk shows, where it is trained to focus all its hate on the donkeys. FOX News really isn't news. FOX is a network designed to keep elephant supporters quaking in fear and anger. As long as they are afraid and angry, they will continue to turn a blind eye to the terrible mistakes of their own politicians. The worst part about FOX News anchors is that they are actually convinced that their bigoted ideology resembles Christianity. Now, on to the blue parrot.

The blue parrot watches MSNBC and other "liberal" talk shows, where it is trained to focus all its hate on the elephants. MSNBC really isn't news. It is a network designed to tell humans what they should be caring about. MSNBC, like FOX, thrives on keeping their viewers hateful and angry at the other party. That way, blue parrots turn a blind eye to the terrible mistakes of their own politicians. MSNBC's anchor positions have been filled by politically correct Obama-smoochers. What's most dangerous about blue parrots is that they consider themselves activists when all they do is focus on one or two social issues.

Parrots are everywhere, and they like the Internet. They post their "left-wing" or "right-wing" propaganda all over the place. These parrots are especially dangerous around election time, where they can influence more mousies to stop watching TV for an hour and go vote. Your lesson is almost done! There is one more important fact to discuss: proper parrot identification.

Remember, parrots only hate one side or the other. If you by chance run into someone who expresses his/her hatred of elephants OR donkeys, be sure to give them this test. Ask them something like, "Don't you think the other side is bad too?". Be sure not to let them get away with a "Yes but.. but..." type answer; that means the specimen in question is just a parrot trying to justify voting for the lesser of two evils. If they give a simple answer of "yes I hate them both", you are not speaking to a parrot. We have to make sure that we don't confuse a parrot with an enlightened American human. There are rehabilitation possibilities for parrots, but they can be very resistant.

For your next lesson, I will elaborate more on this thing mousies and parrots call "News". Stay tuned!

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