PART 4

      Cammie certainly made Rocky less lonely, but she sure was a handful! Like Rocky, Cammie spent her early childhood being moved around from place to place. This included a scary trip to the animal hospital for a routine surgery. When her Dad brought her home, Cammie was still recovering. Her light activity level the first three days or so fooled everyone! By the end of the week, she was excitedly racing around the house. Yay! No more cages!, she must have been thinking. She was sure a fearless explorer. She'd jump to new heights... on the kitchen counter, up the levels of shelves, on top of the refrigerator! Cammie also developed quite the habit; stealing things like several packages of bread, plastic bags, and chocolate cookies.

 

      Rocky's Dad would say out loud, 'What did we get ourselves into, Rocky?!'. He had hoped Rocky would be less anxious if the cat had a little sister to play with. The human was certainly happy that Rocky was happier, but now there were two cats who pestered him--tag-team style! Rocky was a master pesterer, and Cammie his pupil. There was one major difference between them. Cammie did not discriminate in whom she'd bother!

 

      As you can see from these grainy security photos, Rocky was also having difficulty finding a moment's peace:

I have work to do and this little girl doesn't care!, thought Rocky. He was trying so hard to figure out what exactly he wanted to do with his life. At three years old, he was now a fully mature cat. He needed a job and a purpose. What could he do in order to put his paw-print stamp on the world? Rocky desperately searched for a quiet place to think. Between the human blaring his stupid television and Cammie having no respect for personal space, Rocky was starting to lose his mind. One night he heard an audience chanting, "Ro-CKY! "Ro-CKY!". Was that for him? No, the cheers and chants were for some beat-up human on television. It was just a movie. I sure wish I could have a cheering audience like that, he fumed in cat-like jealousy.

 

The television was mostly boring to our hero, but he decided to start paying attention to what humans call "the news". He wondered why news anchors looked so fake, as if they were painted like dolls. Rocky thought he was much cuter, and didn't even need face paint. He'd also wonder why some humans sounded so upset on the news, and why it seemed to upset the male human. Rocky got used to the human yelling things like, "That's a load of crap!"

 

Rocky began to observe the human when he yelled at the television. He took note that Dad yelled most often when a man or a woman would stand at a podium and speak before an audience. Upon further observation, there was always a poorly drawn picture of an elephant or a donkey in the background. The human must hate elephants and donkeys, Rocky deduced. But who were these elephants and donkeys? Rocky needed a place to ponder, so he got all cozy inside his thinking box. You see, Rocky loves boxes. Oh that's right, you know that.

And so it was, that Rocky came to sit in his thinking box all that day. He thought and thought about those humans he saw on the news the past few weeks. Every time I see that ugly picture of a red elephant, I see the word "Republican". Every time I see that ugly picture of a blue donkey, I see the word "Democrat". These humans seem to be even more fake and insincere than the news anchors... Wait! I got it! They are politicians! That's why Dad yells. He hates Republicans and Democrats! Rocky, thrilled at his epiphany, made yet another connection. I'm cute and charming and I know it. I want an audience that chants, 'Ro-CKY!' too! I want to be an American hero!

Rocky 2016, Rocky Coast, maine coon

At that moment, the proverbial light bulb clicked inside Rocky's fuzzy little cranium. His fully realized dream was to become the most prominent cat politician of all time. He has all the tools: looks, personality, a love of country, and the fearlessness needed in order to tackle the tough issues.

 

I'm sure you've heard people say, "My pet could do a better job as President!" Well, Rocky Coast is here to prove them right.

Rocky 2016 Coast maine coon