Meow! Your kitten's education would be in better paws if I win the Purr-esidency!

Our Department of Education has proven that the less it does, the better. We will work towards returning control to the state and local levels. The main goal of our Department of Education is to ensure that the natural rights of human kittens, parents, and teachers are being upheld.

The most important rights are individual rights, and the rights of America's human kittens have been shredded in recent years. It is now easier than ever to mine their data for profit. Human kittens, their parents, and their teachers are being punished at the whimsy of testing companies and their government-infiltrating propagandists. We have zero tolerance for the policies that cause such disasters.

We'd like to encourage the discussion of alternative ideas for our education system, such as a proposal to make the last two years of high school shift its focus largely to vocational training.