CRIMINAL JUSTICE

Mrowr! Our criminal justice system needs an extensive overhaul, and all these dumbass humans do is talk and make promises. My Adminstration is set for action.

Federal Law Enforcement will focus on sex trafficking and sexual assault, those who injure and kill, gangs, political corruption, and those who commit extortion and/or racketeering.

If the current Administration does not end Federal Human Catnip Prohibition, my Administration will. Furthermore, I consider the use of Human Catnip to be an individual right. Ending arrests for its possession in all 50 states is a top priority. My Administration will also expunge all criminal records for the possession of Human Catnip, so that our nonviolent friends can finally have a fair chance at life.

Our Administration recognizes Human Catnip as the ideal industry for small business. We encourage states to establish regulatory frameworks that do not give large corporations the advantage. From testing laboratories to public relations think tanks to growers to sellers, the job opportunities are enormous, and each city can bring their local approach that best suits their community.

The negative hysteria shown by politicians towards the herbal pain reliever known as kratom has not gone unnoticed by me. Our Administration has no desire to ban its use. We believe those who are in pain deserve to have options.

Like every aspect of our failed War on Drugs, our response to the opioid crisis has been misdirected, with innocent people feeling the brunt of the suffering. Trying to strong arm doctors into prescribing fewer opioids has left people in pain and in poor quality of life. The real opioid problem is the black market, which of course the War on Drugs helped create.

The Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) will shift its focus towards international drug trafficking.

Our Administration will commute the harsh sentences of those convicted of drug and some other nonviolent infractions. Ross Ulbricht is an example, as he is serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole for nonviolent drug crimes. We will also be pardoning whistleblowers like Eric Snowden and Reality Winner (yes, that's her name). And furthermore, we will grant asylum to Julian Assange, as he has suffered enough.